how clarity can hit you and suddenly there's this tiny little glimmer of understanding. that "aha!" moment when you understand exactly the inner workings of yourself that didn't make sense but suddenly... suddenly you have such an insight into life and you smile that little smile to yourself of pure joy.
it's amazing how confusing we are to ourselves.
i've been getting antsy lately - ready for the next big adventure. but you see - this is my adventure. these nights alone when i go to sleep staring at my ceiling knowing that i am completely alone - that's an adventure. i don't even put a chair in front of the door anymore. the fear is fading - which means it's time for another adventure, more fear.
my life lessons occur daily. movies, lyrics, books, long drives. i search for these moments of clarity, insight into life. i devour these items on a quest for answers, the understanding that someone else has reached that i can learn. i want to learn from them and add their wisdom to my mental bookshelf.some of these are just reminders. a movie will remind me of an important lesson i somehow forgot, a book will bring up a conversation where i had an eye-opening experience. but these lessons and reminders can happen in the least likely places.
i need something to remind me daily how strong i really am. how dreams are achievable, love is true and friendships are essential.
because if i had my way - i'd just be a hermit.
i can't really say why everybody wishes they were somewhere else
but in the end, the only steps that matter are the ones you take all by yourself
- the weepies.
amen sister!
ReplyDeletei agree with everything in your blog (hence the amen)
you stopped putting the chair in front of your door... wow, you really do need another adventure!
ReplyDeleteI hope your time alone in Waco is good, and in the end is a wonderful, revealing experience before you head North. If your ever in Houston let me know, Im usually hanging out at Ecclesia...
-Steven