traditons.

today i discovered something grand.

i am growing up.

actually,

it all began because someone told me i was growing up.

there's nothing better than someone saying, "oh! you're growing up!"

this exclamation came about after i informed my fellow barista that i was spending my first thanksgiving (my first holiday) away from home. and he's right - it is a sign of growing up when you don't go home for a holiday. it's a slightly scary, overwhelming & sad feeling that comes with this realization. no longer can you rely on the traditional dishes surrounded by your family's faces. there's no familiarity or comfort. there's newness (if that is a word). new traditions, new faces, new dishes, new movies to watch. it's all so new.

and therefore, it's another adventure.

thankfully, thanksgiving has never been traditional in my family. (there were a lot of long "t" words in that last sentence). instead, thanksgiving has always been more of a hodgepodge of backgrounds.

being a pastor's kid means strangers share your holiday table with you. if my parents meet someone at a gas station who doesn't have a place to go - they are immediately invited to our house (this has never actually occurred but seriously could). this tradition has translated over to the daughters & we find ourselves also making sure that strangers have a place to eat (note: northerners find this large amount of hospitality a bit overwhelming & frightening. you often have to persuade them you do not want to steal their valuables or con their grandmother out of her money).

this year, i'm the one searching for a table.

luckily for me, my best friend resides just a bus ride, one metro train & another bus away. familiar faces will be surrounding the DC thanksgiving table.

and for that,

i am thankful.

perhaps new traditions will result. i know for a fact that new dishes will be tasted. of course, movies will be watched. but don't worry - photos will be taken, a blog will be written & you will once again know perhaps a little bit more than you wanted to about brianna's life.

yes, i did just refer to myself in the third person.

i have tomorrow off (first day in a very, very long time) so the freedom is going a bit to my head (hence the late hour & the fact that i'm watching an episode of "my boys" i've seen before just to prepare myself for chicago).

love to all.

and to all a happy thanksgiving week.

neighborhood.

a period of transition has begun...

it's been a while since i've updated but at times it isn't possible to translate thoughts & ideas into words. i know, rather ironic since i hope to be a journalist.

unfortunately, this isn't the kind of blog that consists of "well, today i did this! and tomorrow i'm going to see that!" - though sometimes i wish it did. but that would be a rather boring blog, because i don't really do that many touristy things... so instead you're stuck with my rather emo-ish musings.

so here we are.
the ticket is bought (i return to tx on december 12). soon i will begin packing. my mind is slowly turning that corner from becoming acquainted to getting ready to say goodbye. a sharp corner that i'm barely able to make, the idea of leaving when it seems like i just got here.

of course, the idea of distancing myself crosses my mind. it seems ideal. the goodbyes won't be so hard if i slowly begin to withdraw within my shell. (we all have our defensive mechanisms, correct?) but once again, that's not truly living, that's being afraid.

i've always been somewhat of a nomad so saying goodbye has become a part of my essence. some people are good at crosswords, i'm good at leaving (i didn't say it was a skill i could list on my resume).

when i was a camp counselor i had to say goodbye to people who had changed from strangers into family. they had been my world for 3 months & i didn't want that numb feeling that i usually get when i say goodbye. i prayed & prayed that i'd cry, that i'd hurt, when i said goodbye that summer. & i did.
there are some emotions a person should feel.

i'm praying once again for no numbness.

the fear of having to say goodbye should never stop a person from making friendships.

i am in limbo - getting ready to leave but still having time left. it's a strange place to be. soon i'll be going home for just a few weeks to people i know so well before i embark on an adventure to a city where i don't know a single soul. interesting. that's about all that can be said- interesting.

let me tell you a bit about my life here before we focus too much on the future.

i live on a friendly street.
one of my happiest moments is when i sit on the front porch & watch this little world walk by. kids attempt to fit as many of their friends as possible on their bikes - one on the handlebars, the lucky owner on the seat with one usually propped on the back. women walk with arms laden with grocery bags from the neighborhood safeway. a game of football occurs in the middle of the street, scattering whenever a car is heard approaching. front porches are sat on, conversations are had & everyone comes & goes.

with the cooler weather approaching, the street has started to quiet down. now only occasional conversations are snatched when the weather decides to give us a break from the cool rain. one of our neighbors, cheryl, is heard yelling for her cat, yasmin, from the front porch. she recently bought yasmin & herself matching snuggies so they can watch television & eat a snack without getting cold. hellos are said although names may not be known. car doors are slammed as kids are returned home from school.

some mornings i begin work at 8am, others at 6:30am. this means catching the bus at 6am, before the sun has risen & when the world isn't sure if it's waking up or sleeping in.

i've become friends with one of the women who catches the 6am bus - we discuss weather & the idea of calling in sick to work one day. she works at a daycare & is afraid she'll catch one of the many sicknesses the kids are always bringing in. i'm just tired of serving coffee all day long (i'd say she has it worse).

the coffee shop itself is a kind of neighborhood.

every morning the same friendly faces come in. i know their names, where they work, what kind of coffee they like & whether they drink it black or need room for cream & sugar.

we discuss the news, the weather, our weekends, the need for caffeine & anything else that might come up in those 10 minutes when we take a break from work just to chat.

most of our regulars live in the neighborhood which means i see them when i go to union station, when i walk home, on the bus, in the restaurants nearby, even on their morning runs. often i have to venture outside of capitol hill, but even then i've seen someone i recognize. for such a large city, d.c. will always seem like a small town.

but then again, for such a large world, i always seem to be running into familiar faces.

every day seems to bring a new person to meet, a new story to hear, a name to memorize. if there is one thing i have learned, it's how to be friendly.

it's funny, i had to leave the south to learn this lesson... but then again, it's when we're dragged out of our comfort zones that we finally have to face the hard parts of life. which is why chicago will be even harder than d.c. & probably contain even greater lessons.

this place feels like home.
which is why it'll be so hard to go.

i'll make my own way in the wide world
just know i don't want to wander too far.
- hideaway, the weepies