boxes.

surrounded by more boxes. overwhelmed by the choices - change is beginning to feel familiar.

and i am moving to chicago.

it seems like just yesterday i was leaving dc for texas.
but once again the boxes are being packed up & the possessions divided up - what will make the cut? which items will be traversing cross country packed into a SUV along with my parents & oldest friend?

so far books, pens, scarves & blankets are in cardboard boxes alongside plates & T-shirts. the essentials as far as i'm concerned.

i unpack & i repack. i throw away & i obtain.

my parents recently bought a house which means i have a permanent place to lay my head. pictures have been hung, books placed on the shelves (old friends that bring comfort) & the junk boxes of odds & ends are even finding a place.
along with the unpacking has begun the packing.
what should i take to chicago? the question is hardest to answer when i'm not even sure how long i'll be there or where the next year may take me.

then there is the gratification of throwing away unnecessary objects.
i learned one thing for sure in DC - stuff is not necessary.
that sentence demands an explanation.
what i mean is, i got by living in DC on what some would call "the bare necessities" and while at times this was inconvenient, it was also liberating. i am now attempting to find the happy medium. the idea is that if i have owned something for more than a year and haven't used it, then some happy family at goodwill will probably enjoy it more than myself.

obtaining also must occur. after all, i don't own clothing suited to the northwest.

in between all of this analyzation of possessions time must be made for friends.

if there is one thing that home can always deliver it is friends. friends who know you inside out. all the corners, cracks, downfalls & quirks. ah, comfort & familiarity. we pick off right where we left off. late nights have occurred, plans have been made & many meals have been eaten.

texas has been... home.
it is home. at least, it's a part of home.
which is confusing because i often find myself seeing dc on television & mentally/verbally referring to it as home.
the question begs, where or what is home?

that question can't be answered as of yet or perhaps never will be.

the second question that must be answered is - how will a texan survive the chicago weather?
i'm beginning to doubt it's possible. but i'll keep you updated.

so i'm embarking on yet another adventure to a foreign land with complete strangers. i'll be expanding my education at northwestern university & in about a year i'll have a masters degree in journalism.

pfsh.
that makes me sound so very grown up.
but the last thing i feel right now is grown up.
instead i feel a little frightened, homesick & tired.

but this is one of those "suck it up, buttercup" moments (thanks clarissa). so it's time to put on my big girl pants & say "see you later" once again.

texas, you'll always be number 1 in my heart.

bittersweet.

it's my last day in DC.

i wish i had a journal entry from the day that i left for DC - but alas, i do not. journal entries are a bit more reliable than blogs as they tend to show the exact feelings without a front of bravery.

how do i feel?

well, i guess it's time for another adventure.

but first, let's focus on this last one.
i'm saying good-bye. i've already said a few of my good-byes to the coffee shop regulars, to my fellow baristas and those at church. i've even said good-bye to my best friend.

oh. i don't like that word "good-bye," it definite & nothing is definite.
instead, it's more like "see you later."

tonight my room mate's are throwing a going away/birthday party. that's right. i requested we have a birthday party since i won't be here for anyone's birthday (alas, we are all spring/summer babies). it's my room mates i'm going to miss the most.
when you're thrown into a house with complete strangers and forced to figure out how to live together without killing each other & keeping the house clean - it makes for a strong friendship.

obviously, we get mad at each other. we feel left out. we feel alone. we feel annoyed when someone wakes us up from deep sleep because every single corner of this house creaks.
but we also share in each other's pain, laughter, stories, love lives, etc.
one of my favorite memories is when i was going through a difficult time & every single room mate was home (a miraculous event). we sat on the couch eating the necessary staple of chips & salsa & watched bravo. it was like a wall of comfort surrounded me by the presence of those four people.

the best part? we all are incredibly different (we even look different). with an actor, a pastor, a non-profit worker, a bartender & a barista - we really should've had our own reality tv show.

i told a friend the other day that there are three things that i've learned from moving so much:
1. it's possible to keep in touch. whether it's via email or phone, friendships can last long distance.
2. the world is smaller than we realize.
3. if it's supposed to happen, it'll happen.

i've learned so much here. unfortunately, it's all too much to process at this point in time (seeing as how i'm due in georgetown for a lunch date & there's a pile of clothes to pack in my room) but perhaps a blog will follow soon. after all, i wasn't sure why i was supposed to come to DC & only time can tell me why.

the bittersweetness of this weekend is overwhelming.
i'm going home to my family, old friends, books, bed, pets, the whole 9 yards. but i'm leaving the streets of DC & the friends who have become a family. texas will always hold the largest part of my heart, but DC has also claimed it's own territory.

thankfully,
i move. a lot. so i'll be back (i promise).